“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs” – James Allen
There are beliefs that are based on facts and then there are those that are based on fiction. But, the problem arises when we believe they are facts of life, we are so sure of the certainty of them being true that many times we make life altering decisions based on buying into these inaccurate beliefs.
The other problem is that more times than not we are making the wrong choices or should I say we are making different choices than we may have if we believed otherwise because we are being held hostage by the wrong beliefs or what are better known as limiting beliefs.
They are beliefs about ourselves, our circumstances and others that stop you from fully living the way you were meant to live. These kinds of beliefs can hold you back from becoming more successful, stop you from leaving unhappy relationships, cause you not to have confidence, make you your own worst critic and you can even end up defining who you become by these beliefs.
Let me give you an example of limiting beliefs that can cause you to walk down the wrong path. Sean is smart, intelligent and organized. He has been very successful in business but he’s tired of working for someone and he wants to start his own business. But he doesn’t. When asked why, his answer is: (by the way the limiting beliefs always comes out when asking the questions) What if I fail? I’m really not smart enough plus I’m getting too old to go out on my own.
Okay, so in this scenario, what are the limiting beliefs? What if I fail? What’s holding him back here is fear. What if he succeeds? Why believe the worst case scenario? Next, I’m not smart enough. Is that fact or fiction, true or false? The truth is he is smart enough but when you choose to believe you aren’t you don’t move forward, not to mention that I wonder how that makes him feel? And then last, I’m getting too old? What is too old? 40-50-60-70-80?
I was going to give you several more examples but it would make the blog too long. So here is what you need to know. How do you identify your limiting beliefs? And how do you deal with them once you have them around their scrawny little necks.
First, you simply listen to yourself talk. How do you describe yourself and your life? Listen to the words you use. Then once you’ve identified the pesky little culprits that are putting a big damper on your journey through life you have to ask yourself these questions about these beliefs:
Is it true? What are the facts behind it? What might happen if I didn’t believe it? (Sometimes holding onto our beliefs is a way of protecting ourselves from something we are afraid of). What is the cost of holding onto this limiting belief? Who would I become if I didn’t believe this?
The fact is that many of our beliefs our engrained in us when we were younger and they weren’t based on truth. They may have simply been someone’s frustration blurting out untrue facts, such as, “You’re so stupid, or you’ll never be successful.” Or, someone unknowingly making statements that sticks with you (when they shouldn’t) such as: “She’s the shy one or he’s not very coordinated. Or, she doesn’t make friends easily”, etc.
Sadly it happens too often and 99% of the time people don’t deserve to hear these things that are said so nonchalantly but leave a lifetime impact on us. Then there are the beliefs you garner along the way through your own experiences of life and how it all unfolds for you.
Regardless if they’re old or new beliefs, get clear on the fact that they aren’t serving you very well. And also get clear on the fact that when you begin to dig down and dissect them what you will find is that you have been telling yourself things for years that perhaps simply aren’t true. You deserve the truth. And you deserve to make life decisions based on solid facts instead of worn out lies that you’ve been mentally carrying around for way too long.
So dig out your Limiting Belief Detector and scan your mental glossary. Quarantine those thoughts and beliefs as they are the viruses that infect your life, they hold you back from experiencing what you are truly capable of and they put a huge damper on your fun factor in life. Are your beliefs fact or fiction?